Thursday, January 30, 2014

Sweet Place of Breakthrough


My breakthrough came at the end of last summer. I had gotten to a point of being so dissatisfied with myself and how heavy I had become. I was uncomfortable in my clothes. I was never happy with how I looked. I was miserable.

I started Weight Watchers in August. This was going to be my time. I just knew it. It wasn't because my mom had encouraged me to go. It was because I wanted to go. I needed to go. So I followed the plan and watched what I ate. I learned what I could eat so I wasn't feeling deprived. And slowly, but surely, the pounds came off. I lost the first 5, then 10 and, can you believe it, 15. I had broken through my mental barrier that to eat healthy meant feeling deprived. I felt really good - about myself and about my weight loss.

But then it stopped. I stopped.

I went out of town, didn't grocery shop and got lazy. I stopped going to the meetings and then canceled my membership altogether. And of course, the weight came back on. I have gained about 5 pounds back. That may not seem like a lot, but I have a long way to go before I am at a healthy weight.

Knowing I was gaining weight and then seeing I was gaining weight, brought about the cycle again. Dissatisfied with myself at how heavy I had become. I am uncomfortable in my clothes. I am not happy with how I look. I am miserable.

That was the main reason the Made to Crave study was one that I was desperate to do. But I have been a slacker, not completing the assignments and just being lazy. The Excuse Monster is all over the place. Work is stressing me out. It is so cold that going outside is a chore, so it is easier to stay inside and plop on the couch.

But in the back of my head is the gnawing of needing to get healthy and knowing I can do it. I think Weight Watchers is great. I like their approach and it works. I can attest to that. But I need the spiritual part to really make it life transforming. Sure, losing weight in and of itself is good. But it becomes all about me. I look good because of the work I did. Look at me and how much better I feel. I, me, I me. There is no God. It is through God alone that the true life transformation can begin. He is the only that can truly satisfy.

Maybe this was another breakthrough! :)

7 comments:

  1. Oh, Colleen, I need to spiritual part to make this change a life transforming one too. Loved that! I pray God gives you all the #determination you need to really work the program to success - as you depend on Him more and more for every need!

    Missy (OBS Blog Hop Team)

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    1. Thank you for your words of encouragement, Missy!

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  2. I have been in that horrible cycle too!! I never relied on God before when I lost weight and it came right back. It is so different this time. I am not obsessing over my food choices. I am growing closer to God and it has really changed me. Stay determined and focused!! Thank you for sharing. I can really relate!! Thankful to know you through our Facebook group!! :) Jennifer Gearheart

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    1. Jennifer,

      This is such encouragement! I love how you said that as you are drawing closer to God, you have changed. It is such much more than just our food choices.

      I am also thankful to have you in the Facebook group too!

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  3. I too live in the midwest or should I say the year of the tundra. The weather certainly has been a hinder. Last week I attempted to take our pup out for a walk and sprained my ankle. I am living in a circle of excuses. As strange as it is we find comfort in women that suffer as we do. I am determined to get past the "excuses". I also lost 20 pounds with weight watchers, but put all of it back on plus 20. But this time will be different. I will pray for you. I have shared my story on my blog, if you would like to find comfort in my sufferings. pmwarner14.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Peg,

      Someday it will be warm again. I have to believe that! :)

      Weight is such a struggle and it isn't until we face it that we realize exactly how heavy the burden is that we carry. I am considering joining Weight Watchers again because I know the program works for me. But I need more than science behind successful weight loss. I need to stop looking to the things of this world for satisfaction because I will always be searching for fulfillment.

      I will pray that you will continue on your journey towards satisfying your cravings with God.

      Be blessed!

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