Thursday, August 8, 2013

Palms Up

Yesterday evening after working on my online Bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministries, I wrote a post based on one of the topics given for the Blog Hop for What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. The post was okay, but I felt like there was something missing. I wasn't hitting something.

As I was getting ready for work this morning, something popped into my head. I am an angry person. One of the topics for the Blog Hop asked a question. "What is holding me back from going deeper in my relationship with God?" At this moment, in this time in my life, it is anger. But it isn't anger at God. It isn't even anger at unfortunate events in my life like the death of my dad or the fact that I am an unmarried 30-something with no prospects on the horizon.

It is the little things that get me so riled up. Drivers who cuts me off in traffic. People standing in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store. Work situations that I have no control over. These little things that may be annoyances to anyone seem to push me over the edge and I internalize it, making them bigger than what they really are.


Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
James 1:19, 20 (ESV)

This attitude is doing nothing for me. And it is doing nothing for God. My anger is getting the better of me and allowing wrong thoughts to run through my head and incorrect actions that dishonor God. My anger is keeping me from saying yes to God.

Even in acknowledging my issue with anger, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. There may be something much bigger lurking underneath the surface that I will still need to completely surrender to God, but my anger needs to be controlled.

I surrender my anger to a Holy Father who loves me.

Palms up!

4 comments:

  1. Hi Colleen. I so totally get you. In fact, I even wrote a post on my driving issues a while back and on Walmart being my testing place. :) I am so glad that God has shown you this. He really is so amazing! When I started realizing how surly I could get, I was able to give it to God. I'm not complete yet, but I know He is working. Glad you posted in the hop today. God bless you. :)

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    1. Thank you for your comment, Kelly! My first test came on the way home when extremely heavy traffic pushed my 15 minute commute to an hour. I could feel the frustration bubbly in my gut. But I kept breathing through it and telling myself to stay calm. I become a really ugly person when my anger gets the better of me.

      I know it will be a process and a daily surrendering to God circumstances I can't control.

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  2. So glad to know that I am not the only one who still sweats the small stuff... and it seems like big stuff to me. So thankful for a loving, merciful God that is willing to keep working on His girls!
    Blessings to you!
    Lauren, OBS Small Group Leader

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    1. Hi Lauren! I completely understand how the little stuff always seems to grow into big things. Definitely thankful that God does not give up on His children. I have to remember to pray for His perspective to be in my sight and not my own.

      By the way, absolutely loving this study and this community of fellow Yes to God Girls!

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