I Believe

At first, I didn't know what I wanted to write about for the Blog Hop. And then it jumped into my head. One of the questions for the chapter 1 Reflection Questions asked if one of the promises that had been mentioned in the previous question spoke to our greatest need right now. I answered with "See, I am doing a new thing!" from Isaiah 43:19.

When I woke up the next morning, this phrase ran through my head over and over and over.

I believe God's Word is true, no questions asked. But since my Christian walk is not where it should be, I choose to believe God will not work in my life that way because my faith is not where it should be. But I belive God is able to work however and in whatever manner He chooses.

"See, I am doing a new thing!"

In the last several months, I have been thinking about where God wants me. If I move back home to Ohio, which is where I really feel like I am being led, I would have to find a job in an area that has struggled to recover after being hit hard by the economy. But this week, I found out that I am going to be working from home full time. This may allow me to move back to Ohio without finding a new job. I believe if Ohio is where God wants me He will provide a way no matter the obstacles.

"See, I am doing a new thing!"

God isn't asking for my help to change the circumstances in my life. I often try to take control of the reins, then fail, then doubt. Those negatives thoughts start to invade my thoughts.
"I can't do this."
"I am not good enough."
"why should I expect anything different?"

But if I would listen and trust God, He is saying, "See, I am doing a new thing!" He may also add, "Colleen, please get out of my way and let me do this." :)

I am getting in the way of seeing God work in my life because I doubt. I look back and see what I want to see. I am not looking at the situations where God has evidently worked in my life to get me where I am today. Evidence that I can be confident in...that I should be able to live in and trust God, not just trust in God. Believe God and not just believe in God. There is a difference and I am starting to understand what it means in my life.

Been There, Didn't Finish, Loved It!

I changed the title a little bit. I participated in the last study Proverbs 31 Ministries OBS, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. Unfortunately, I fizzled out. Keeping up with my personal relationshp with God is a constant struggle for me. I started off very strong with the last study. I worked on it every night and really enjoyed what I was learning, reading the different blogs on the Blog Hop and learning about other women during Tweet It Up Tuesdays.

Then one night, my schedule kept me out late and I didn't work on the study. Then I didn't do it the next night either. But instead of just working at my own pace to continue, which is completely encouraged, I stopped. I said no to God.

Thankfully, God's mercies are new every morning. And I can start fresh again.

Confidence is something I struggle with, even in my relationship with God. The feeling of unworthiness can be overwhelming at times. But God doesn't look at me that way, which is completely baffling. He loves me even though I am covered in the grime and muck of this world. He loves me when I don't believe in myself.

In God's perfect timing, this study is starting when my job security is very shaky. My company was acquired this week and right now I am in limbo as I wait to hear what the future of my position will be. God has a plan for me and I can't forget that. He knew this was coming and knows how it will shake out. I have a constant bubble of nervousness in my stomach. My confidence is pretty low.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for me during this study!