Learning to Breathe, Pt. 12

Where has this year gone?? It is December! Christmastime is all around and I LOVE it!

There are so many fun Christmas activities going on around my area, so I am trying to take advantage of as many things as possible. It allows me an opportunity really enjoy the lights and music that makes this season so special.

Last Saturday night, my mom and I went out to Sauder Village in Archbold, OH for their lantern tour. It was so much fun! We rode around in the freezing cold on a wagon filled with hay bays and strung with white twinkling lights. We stopped by homes that reflected the holidays in the 1880s, 1850s and 1920s. I couldn't believe how new some traditions are. It was a great way to start the Christmas season.

December is often full of craziness! I hope that you find time to reflect on the true meaning and hope of this wonderful season. A tiny baby was born in deplorable conditions so he could grow up and die on a cross for a sinful people like me. We celebrate Christmas because we know that Easter is coming!

Learning to Breathe, Pt. 11

Happy November!! Autumn is moving right along. Some of my friends already have their Christmas trees up! I am going to hold off until next week. :) It is going to be in the 70s this week in NW Ohio and I am having a hard time getting in the Christmas spirit with the warmer temps.

November is a bittersweet month for me. I love Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season, but it is also the month when I lost my dad. It will be four years this year. Every year, I can't believe it has been that long. This year is no different.

I have had a few friends lose their dads in the last year or so. It always bring back memories of how I felt during those first few days after my dad was gone. I was blessed to be with my dad for the last week of his life. That time is so precious to me - both the good and sad memories.

This November, I want to not only be thankful, but to show my thankfulness. I am still working out what I am going to do, but will be sharing my ideas throughout the month. Even though my home will be filling up with Christmas cheer, Thanksgiving is not off my radar!

Enjoy the last of the fall colors and be thankful!

Learning to Breathe, Pt 9

Ahhh...September. The start of all things fall. I am have been itching to put up my fall decorations, especially with the cooler weather we had here in NW Ohio last week. I started pulling some out yesterday even though it was hot and humid and will continue to be so for the at least the remainder of this week. Yuck!

August was crazy with traveling and general busyness, but September is looking a little less crazy which I am grateful for! Fall is one of my favorites time of year and I am looking forward to enjoying the change of seasons and welcoming cooler weather.

Over the past few months, I have slowly been meeting my neighbors, but last night I was invited to a little neighborhood BBQ. I had met most of the neighbors there briefly before, but this was a chance to actually get to know them a little bit better.

We sat outside and talked for several hours. It is probably one of the most relaxing evenings I have had in a while. To be honest, I was actually a little proud of myself for going over there alone and interacting with a group of virtual strangers. I don't do well in new environments and my introverted nature tends to shine through.

As I looked back at my enjoyable evening, I realized that it was truly a "learning to breathe" moment. I slowed down without any expectation. My phone was in my pocket, but I didn't pull it out once to look at the time or check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. I wasn't waiting anxiously to get home or worrying about what the next day would bring. I was invested in the moment.

We have already decided that our next get-together would be a soup party. I am looking forward to it!

Learning to Breathe, Pt. 8

The summer is rapidly coming to the a close. It always seems to fly by. Ads for back-to-school shopping are popping up everywhere. I loved shopping for school supplies. I don't know what it is about new pens and notebooks, but it makes me happy! And I know that fall is approaching!

This past weekend has brought some quiet reflection about life and the loss of life. Two people I went to high school with experienced great loss. One person had to put her dog to sleep. And while that may seem trivial to some, it is quite important to others. I am grateful for my Luna and I would be devastated if something happened to her. The other lost his one-year-old son unexpectedly. I can't even begin to imagine the grief his family is suffering. Both will look back at this weekend as life changing.

I know loss. I know that deep pain that doesn't go away. It becomes a part of who you are. Taking time to enjoy the moments we are given with the people we love is so important. This weekend, I am headed back up to WI to see my brother's family. It is an expensive trip - gas, tolls, kennel fees, eating out - that I am not really prepared to make. But I want to make those precious memories to hold in my heart. To savor the times when Brynley calls me Auntie Colleen in her sweet voice and holds my hand. To cuddle a tiny Addilyn because she will never be this small again.

I didn't expect my learning to breathe journey to take this route, but you never know what life will bring. Learning to breathe in the most difficult times is probably something that is never mastered, but it will make the happy moments sweeter.

Learning to Breathe, Pt. 7

I can't believe how fast this year is flying by. The Fourth of July is this weekend and after that, it seems like the summer goes right down hill even though it has barely started. Summer is not my favorite time of year. I don't care of the hot humid weather, but I do enjoy being able to be outside and all the fresh fruits and veggies that summer brings.

On June 25, I saw several people post that it was 6 months until Christmas. That made me really happy for a couple of reasons. One is that I absolutely LOVE Christmas! The decorations, the food, the smells, everything! The second reason is that it will be cold outside. I am winter girl and love being cozy.

As I started thinking about the 6 months to Christmas thing, it made me realize that it defeats the purpose of me trying to breathe in the moment that I am in. While I know Christmas is coming in 6 months, I can't put all my focus on wanting it to come faster.

I have things to enjoy and that will be exciting this month. I am meeting my newest niece next weekend. I want to savor that time because she isn't going to be this small ever again. I will also get to spend time with my other niece and she is growing into such a sweet little girl. The time I get to spend with these cuties is precious and I don't want to rush it.

While my favorite time of year is still yet to come, I am trying to learn the fine balance of being content in the moment I am in and wanting time to move faster.

Learning to Breathe, Pt. 6

Happy June!! I don't know where you live, but in Northwest Ohio, it is cold today. Like, cozy sweatpants, long-sleeve shirt and warm slippers kind of cold. Thankfully, this cooler weather will be short lived! I am not a huge fan of the heat, but some warmer weather would be great.

Do you have big plans for the summer? No big summer vacations are in my calendar for this summer. But I am looking forward to something that will be happening in the next 2 weeks. My new precious niece will be arriving on the scene! No words can truly describe my excitement. My mom and I will be making a trip to Wisconsin in early July to love on her.

In the meantime, I am feverishly working on a baby blanket that I have been very lazy about completing. One thing I really enjoy about knitting is the evidence of something accomplished. It isn't finished just because I knit a row, but there is visible progress.

I don't know if I am really making any progress in learning to breathe. The busyness and monotony of life sometimes takes away the moments of quiet. In those times those moments are needed the most. Hopefully, as the summer really kicks off in full swing, those moments of quiet can really be appreciated and enjoyed.

Learning to Breathe, Pt. 5

Temperatures are finally getting warmer. Flowers are beginning to bloom. Trees are starting to bud. Summer is on its way.

One of the reasons I wanted to focus on learning to breathe this year is because I often feel distracted. I want to be doing something else besides what I am doing. I think it comes from the monotony that is life - working, cleaning, being a responsible adult. Sometimes there isn't a lot of extra room to just be.

In the recent weeks of nice weather, Luna and I have gone to the park to walk the trails. It is a time to get away from life's noise and enjoy the early signs of Spring. Although going for walks isn't always exciting, it is a short time break - a time out. I can breathe in the fresh air and be without expectation. Not only are these walks good for my health, but they are good for my soul.

And Luna can release some excess energy. As your can tell from the video below, she gets a little excited when she goes to the park.

Learning to Breathe, Pt. 4

Are you busy?? I am busy, but I am slowly starting to feel more settled in my busyness. Maybe that is why I have been ignoring my little piece of cyber space. It isn't going to stop so I am learning to take moments to breathe and just stop.

My evenings seem to fill up which hasn't always been the case. I am relishing the evenings that I can just stay home. When I worked in an office I tried to do all my running around after work because Saturday was my one day to be home. Now I don't mind going out on Saturdays and running errands because I get to be home during the day and get some housekeeping done like laundry.

One thing that I do, not so consistently, is to reflect on and write down what I am thankful for in that moment. I want my thankfulness journal to be more than just being thankful for another day. They are specific things that have just happened or are happening. Being able to look back at what I have been thankful for months prior is also really encouraging.

I am trying to be more consistent with my journal because those are short moments in my day where I can breathe.

Learning to Breathe, Pt. 3

Raise your hand if you have been a bad blogger? ✋

I don't even have a good excuse, except that other things became a little more important. But I have missed this little blog of mine. I may not get a ton of readers and I am completely fine with that. This is my place share my thoughts.

This whole "learning to breathe" thing has been a little more difficult for me because I have to be intentional about it. If I am not, then things don't change. One of the hardest things is dealing with the everyday hum drum of life. Sometimes it isn't interesting and I feel like I am plodding through, living day to day trying to get things done.

This week I had to make a really hard decision, but the end result would have a direct effect on my opportunity to breathe. I have been wanting another dog for a while, months actually. And it so happens that a friend was thinking about giving up her dog. I thought this was a great way for us both to benefit. Well, her dog has been here for almost a week, it just isn't going to work. He has jumped over my fence twice just to explore. That is a huge concern for me because I don't want him to get lost or hurt or worse. I also had to think about the financial impact it would have - additional vet costs, food costs, training costs, etc.

While I thought my dog Luna was adjusting well to having another dog in the house, I am starting to see a few chinks in her armor. She is getting angrier when they are playing and I think she misses her downtime. Her little tummy seems to be upset and I am wondering if it is stress.

On Tuesday, when I realized that this was probably not going to be the best situation for the dog or for me, I just broke down. He is a sweet dog and I feel awful for not wanting him. This was definitely one of those big-girl decisions that was horrible to make. I still feel really bad about the whole situation, but I am confident in the decision I made. I didn't want to disappoint my friend. As much as I love dogs, at this point, it doesn't make sense for me to have another one. Luna is content being in an one-dog-only household and I am content with that as well.

This was a defining moment for me to have to think about what was best for me, not just right now, but in the future.  This opportunity gave me time to reevaluate what I wanted because what I want and what is best do not always go hand-in-hand.

Learning to Breathe, Pt. 2

It is hard to believe it is February already, but it also feels like the holidays happened lightyears ago. Sometimes it seems like life moves so quickly that it is hard to take time to breathe.

As I write this, it is snowing and not expected to stop until tomorrow. It would be super easy to say that I am going to enjoy this time and snuggle under a blanket and watch movies, but I have stuff to get done at home. I could easily justify my snuggly movie watching as taking time to breathe. But my house is a wreck and it is hard to "breathe" when I have laundry piled up, dishes to wash and snow to shovel.

Balancing my home responsibilities and my need to breathe is going to be difficult. Unfortunately, that is a struggle that will never go away. So that now becomes my bite-size focus for this month.

I can focus on where I am at the moment by taking care of what God has entrusted to me. I have been truly blessed by the home I have, but how I can take time to breathe when I am not doing my best at taking care of it.

Today, I will learn the balance of what I want to do with what I need to do. Because I can tell you now, cleaning is not what I want to do! :)

Welcome 2015

Happy New Year!!

Last year, I will still pretty new to the blogging world and not really aware of blogging trends. I noticed that many bloggers picked a word that helped to set the tone for the year. I tried thinking of a word, but since I didn't have time to reflect, I was coming up short.

This year was a little different. I have had time to reflect on what I want this year to look like or feel like for me. I realized toward the end of the year how I was constantly looking toward the next thing. At the end of the summer, I was looking ahead toward fall. When the weather turned cold, I was looking toward Christmas. Before December, I was already waiting for January. And before I knew it, all those things I had been looking toward were gone.

I was there for it all, but I didn't take the time to slow down and enjoy the season I was in. So this year, I want to BREATHE. Life moves way to fast to not take advantage of the present moment. It will be a learning process, but one I am looking forward to tackling.

I hope you take the time to enjoy your moments.

Have a happy new year!